I created this blog a while back, ( 2011, 2012 I think?) for the sole purpose of being bored and trying to commit myself to something. It’s not a fashion blog, or lifestyle, commentary (though sometimes I do that), Personal Blog? Maybe. It was just for the sake being A BLOG. A forum for my ranting. But then it became a forum for things I find interesting, discussions I have with people, issues I have with the world, highlights of fuzzy cute animals,my need to include shouty type text in EVERYTHING, among a barrage of random stuff. Earlier this year, I stopped writing though. I can’t remember why, at the moment (this teaching thing, it messes with the memory you see..)
And though, I can’t remember why I really created this, or why I stopped or even why I’ve decided to come back. I AM HERE. YOU’RE here. Reading, which means that THIS is of some worth, no matter how small.
When you think about it, our lives are not very different, despite not being sure why you’re here, where you’re going, what to do, the horrible memories Facebook is forcing you to relive through its VERY corny, poorly designed “Year in review” you’re still here. You survived another year.That’s all that matters, no matter how small a feat. You’re pretty damned cool for surviving. Go you! with your sexy self! You should buy yourself a drink 😛 So as we’re about to go into the new beyond, join me in extremely long rant like sentences, in no particular order about my-
Uncensored 2014- A bittersweet symphony
Yes! I had to totally rip off Vere’s Bittersweet symphony AGAIN! (since I believe it was a bitter sweet year some time ago but whatever), this song alone always seems to resonates with how my year went. You just sang that title, didn’t you?
- Continued my Teaching journey– with a promotion! (YAY!), I figured things would be easier but they just got harder(BOOO!). Teaching is one of the MOST grueling jobs generally. Especially when students don’t care. But can you blame them? After high school, life becomes a bleak- student loan debt filled, unemployable because you need experience to get employed- pit of hell. Some parents care, because of the aforementioned and the little gleaming hope that their children just may survive this messed up world. Of course, society doesn’t give a shit BUT pretentiously behave as if it does. “Children are the future” blah, blah… Right. Hard to believe when a country doesn’t behave as if its children matter. Another corn fi mash at another time.
- Mi hair still a grow– Still troding with my natty bungo dread locs. A year ago, I was getting so impatient and wanting to get rid of it. It’s way past the ugly stage and I absolutely love my hair. Now only if it would grow down my waist so I could tie it to my butt! Butt beard.lol
- Adventured with future architects– Visited the Caribbean School of Architecture with my students, saw some VERY impressive works. I absolutely love the seamlessness of art and technology in Architecture. Hats off to these Artisans. Though some students will now be scared senseless by the stories of lack of sleep, extreme pressure and the demands of this field; I’m sure there are some who were truly inspired. A big thank you to the UTECH’s Open door session, Duane Allen and your classmates for touring with us and scaring the children :).
- Mission “Get into grad school”– Applying for graduate school, is like getting married. Some friends disown you, your parents probably mortgage their house or generally people are “happy” for you. They sell you all the reasons why you should leave the comfort of your lame life and be with them and why they’re so much better than other schools. They also express how great your life will be after you’ve finished and you believe them because random smiling people in caps and gowns !Damn it! Your friends will tell you “You’re still so young” OR “It’s going to be soooo expensive” Not to mention the “ A now yah guh mad!”. Of course, no institution will ever tell you how hard it will be AFTER you’ve committed or even how hard it is to get in. They call you so often to hear your answer of their proposal but return no calls if they find out just how broke you are.
5. Started a service learning project with my students– I had to include this, usually these are never a big deal but this one I will probably remember for the rest of my life.
- Lost a son– The above mentioned service learning project, would be the last I would do with one of my students. One of my sons… Aside from the years of teaching him, we spent two days together; I got to know him a little bit more before I had to unknowingly say goodbye. I’m a strong believer that ALL things happen for a reason, though I still have a hard time reasoning this one out. This is something I still haven’t really come to terms with yet. Don’t know if I ever will. Life is so normal until someone you see everyday disappears, you wonder where they went and what they’re doing and if they knew how much you loved them or miss them. You slowly realize what it truly feels to be a part of someone, because when they are gone you can feel it. You also learn that forgiveness, takes time and so does healing. You learn that “see you tomorrow Miss.” Is the longest tomorrow you will have to wait and you must accept this. Though I will never have the pleasure of seeing you graduate high school or see what kind of man you would’ve grown up to be, I am truly blessed and honored to have met, taught, laughed, cussed, learned with and from you. Whoever named you knew you’d be a reminder to us one day, that Joven- Yaweh is gracious, Yaweh is merciful. Rest in Paradise Joven 7. Met the Minister of Education- Politicians sure can talk. We endured a 2 hour unscripted talk and I had the pleasure of giving him one of my scribbles.
- Watched some of my favourite people accomplish their goals- Congratulations to the class of 2014 EMCVPA, Dr. Trudy-Ann Barrett, Latoya Gayle MA , Gervanna Stephens, Chip and Laura. Glad bag bus!( translation For Chip- My happiness for you guys cannot be contained)lol
- Observed a very odd and amusing love triangle… rectangle…polygon??- Not to mention the advent of the ‘Internet bad gyal’ and realized that maturity still has nothing to do with age. Big up yuhself yah Kermit
- Watched a good friend, take the first step to the greatest journey in her life – Cheers to new beginnings Zanelle and Leo. May God richly bless you guys
- Wore a tiny dress- (for all those who had the misfortune of seeing my legs I apologize, I simply could not contain all that gorgeous) Mi know Lacey did love it though 😛
12. Said goodbye to toxic people- There comes a time in your life when it’s OK to let people go, far away…preferably a good 93 miles away
- Experienced TRUE friendship– Good people, good friends are increasing hard to find these days. I’m blessed with some of the greatest friends. Though I don’t see them often, they know I love them. And if I barely saw you this year, I hope to make it up to you this coming year. Never take good people for granted.
- Experienced an increased series of unexpected and some embarrassing events – these things just seem to pop up at anytime but are the best part of life. For future reference, if during an REALLY important interview you have to draw a diagram chances are everyone’s confused. Sometimes that’s not such a bad thing. It lightens the mood.
- Wrote too many admission letters and essays- If I see another one, I’ll scream.
- Mission “Get into grad school” Part 2– Another part of the relationship they never warn you about it the mood swings these universities have during the proposal period. They ask for things they don’t really want but claim they “need”. Let’s put it this way :
Them:” Go get a cow”
Me: “what type of cow?”
Them: ” A COW! Oh and jump through that flaming hoop, scale that fifty foot wall and carry that truck on your back while on the tip of your toes. Oh and your deadline is approaching!”
Brings a brown random cow and does all requested impossible tasks.
Them:” We wanted a blue cow with speckled green legs and your deadline passed like a millisecond ago”
- Experienced EMC Post traumatic Stress– I don’t think I need to say anything else, most alumnus who go back for anything know this stress far too well. Its one of those places you hate to love.
- Got attacked by a raging crazy person with an umbrella- don’t even ask
- Got accepted to the University of Auckland-WOOOOOT! But too broke to go: /- Sort of depressing yes, a few of my friends will agree, but in truth I’m just happy I got accepted. Seeing that I’ve got a really strong head, I’m not giving up on going. Though donations are more than welcome.lol Thanks for being my mediator Nat 😀
- First time at Verman Drag racing- adrenaline rush much? never buck up so much town people a country yet! Thanks for dragging me along Jav and Dave
- Watched for what looked like a replay of the civil rights movement in the U.S. Yes black lives matter but so does every other life regardless of ethnicity or social class. Police brutality is never right and we here in Jamaica can relate. Your job is to protect, not abuse!
- Air-crafts went and are still going missing #beyondcreepy- Makes you wonder if traveling is safe anymore. Please pray for the families of the victims of Air Asia.
- Got a new Job– Though I had a rough time making this choice, I chose to leave Manchester and head home to Kingston. I think I’m adjusting pretty well. The school spirit thing though…lol
- Said bye bye to Manchester– Oh brah! (Still no clue what this means!!) this place to me is a love- hate kind of vibe. Avoiding giant lizards and random cows (I might have a thing for cows) for two years, putting up with crazy roommates, getting my first flat, moving three times in the space of two years, freezing temperature and the non existence of the sun was a lot to endure. In retrospect, my adventures in Manchester, were moments I wouldn’t trade for anything. I’ve grown so much in the time I’ve been there. Assuming more responsibilities, meeting some wonderful and NOT so wonderful people and growing attached to some really sweet children . To my friends in Manchester, I am truly thankful that I met you . My time there has been life changing and I won’t forget your kindness and support. Thank you especially to Evon , you’re an awesome human being for even helping some strange girl off Facebook. Zanelle, Hava, Mahabeer, Jody, Claudia, Michelle and Indra for being YOU. I could not have survived Porus High and Manchester in general without your help.
To this day my mantra still is: Not my circus, not my monkeys
25.Was blown away by Guardians of the Galaxy – Every tree known to me and Ikem are now ‘Groot’ and we probably came off as some weirdos hugging and talking to trees and whatnot . You can’t tell me you didn’t tear up when he saved his friends. #moviemademyyear. Not even going to mention Lucy 😦
- Got wise Counsel– Some great advice on life, was given to me this year by people I respect wholeheartedly. So if I’ve never said it to you before, I’ll say it now THANK YOU. Ms. J & LJ- the mentors, Dr. Barrett- the voice of reassurance ,Khym and Kori -‘my parents’ Yacub and Toorel – the wise, Ikem- le spikem ,Troy &Trudz- ma niggas , Rohan & Marlon- ma bitches
28.Was reaffirmed of how BADMIND people really are-. Bad mind is a Jamaican term, to express high levels of covetousness people might display while seeming to have your best interest at heart. I don’t want to go off on a haters rant or whatever but some people can be really evil in their thoughts and behavior, even when all you mean them well. They seem constantly threatened by you and always have to one up you or measure penises. Sadly, I’m lacking in that department so I’m not even going to entertain that crap. I still don’t understand why people are this way, but I pray positive on their lives always.
- Jamaica was attacked by a gun wielding chicken aka Chickengunman and the worst drought ever– though the chicken jokes and humorous variations of the name are lame now; I STILL have a hard time believing that Chikungunya (its actual name) is caused by a mosquito. Many people have died due to complications influenced by this virus, so in reality there is nothing funny about it nor is there anything noble about the Minister of Health wishing to get it too. It is the most awful pain you could possibly feel and I don’t wish anyone to get it. If you haven’t got it, stay in the clear.
The drought was another story, no rain for months on end resulted in a ton of problems. And boy, did the Jamaicans do what we do best! Complain! I can’t see how that could possibly be the government’s fault this time.But to how some people behaved, it’s as if Portia herself fling some oil a sumn somewhere and mek rain stop fall. Farmers be like ” Rain nah fall, crops a dry up! weh di government aguh do??” Puppy Tail rain dance? I don’t know man. When we did get the rain it fueled the mosquito breeding for more chick v. People probably thought this was the Jamaican apocalypse. All who never shame fi bathe ina bath pan lif up unno han!
- Everyone bubblewrapped themselves in fear of Ebola– Jamaicans are either very demented or so totally care free that we could make fun of some serious life threatening stuff. If there were songs about chick v, I’m sure there are songs about ebola. People here seemed unmoved and some partially callous to what was happening in other FAR away ebola infected lands. Until of course, an ebola patient traveled to the US, (Which is pretty close to Jamaica) people were now glued to the news. All the one dem weh nevah used to watch before start bleach fi ketch 10 oclock news . Plans of sitting on light posts and migrating into the mountains with tin mackerel were in place. Myths of ebola patients coming back from the dead and breathing ebola air were rampant. Everyone who possibly had a stomach flu, food poisoning, had the unfortunate case of holding in a shart, sweat from running ten miles were potential threats. Lovers of Africa suddenly did not want to go back to the mother land, though only four countries were affected (correct me if I’m wrong). I constantly wondered if people knew the origin of the disease and how it was REALLY spread. But only in Jamaica.
- Had a pretty chill birthday and got wonderful news -T&J I have great things to look forward to in the new year 😀
- Visited a children’s home– Experiences like these, constantly remind me to appreciate all that I have and give of myself to those who don’t have.Remember to donate, volunteer, help in anyway you can and not just at Christmas, all year round.
- Was severely overwhelmed and was constantly reminded to not give up– Life is a constant struggle but what would we learn if life was always happy, cheerful and easy?
- Watched my little Micah grow up– This is STILL miraculous to me, how such a tiny person can become such a big part of so many lives.He’s growing up so fast too,
- Went camping in the beautiful St. Ann– I love St. Ann so much (YES! a parish I actually like besides Kingston.) It was a great experience, met some great people as well.
- Witnessed another friend make a bold step into a new life. Congrats Lady. I’m very proud of you.
- Celebrated one more year with my muse- Though this year has been rough and in many ways uncertain. You always helped to keep my head above water. Whether it was offering a shoulder to cry on, open arms to console, ears to listen to my complaints, lips to silence my bickering. I am forever thankful for you. Let’s make new memories shall we?
- Lost faith in the someone I respected – I’ve learnt that people are sometimes too proud to apologize; I know that first hand but knowing the right thing to do and not doing it doesn’t make you proud. It makes you stupid. I have lost faith in you, hopefully one day I’ll get it back… everyone deserves a second chance, right?
39. Became a windows phone user– Worst purchase of my existence. Nokia still makes awesome phones though.
40.Am i wrong- Nico &Vinz became my 2014 theme song– If you ever question your life’s endeavors listen to this song I did alot of that this year. Oh! and Chandlier- Sia is stuck on repeat.
My year wasn’t the greatest, though it wasn’t the worst. I’m glad I lived to experience all that 2014 had in store. The good, the bad, the WTH moments . We acknowledge the people who left too soon, we thank the people who held our hands along the way, the friends we made, the friends we lost, the new lives made and we cherish the more experienced ones. So as we move into a new year, “May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful and don’t forget to make some art- write, draw, build or sing or lives as only you can. And I hope somewhere in the next year you’ll surprise yourself”.
HAPPY 2015! -Koi