You’ll tell us who A is next week? Cool story bro, tell it again.

Two years ago I was at my best friend’s house hanging around after a stressful day of school. Her little sister was watching some t.v series thing which involved a group of friends and their head honcho of the group the queen bitch, like most American television shows have. As the story goes, the group of friends all  had secrets and the head chick was always the confidant. HOW IRONIC. The girls however barely knew any of their leader’s secrets. So one night they’re all hanging out in some random loft, telling duppy stories (PLEASE! Teenage girls would be talking bout man and a chat them friends) . and leader chick sneaks off while the rest are asleep. BOOM! Nobody can find her and a year later the cops find her  body.

This random person posing as the dead  leader bitch chick keeps sending the friends messages about their secrets and such.. WOW PLOT TWIST!  At first I didn’t want to watch because I felt it was just some little teenage series thing on cable. I somehow stuck around and two years later I’m still watching what is now the renowned long drawn out Pretty Little liars which is aired on ABC Family. At first it was corny and lame but then I started  actually liking it and the characters. I’d patiently wait week by week just to see what happens only to NOW be lead down some drawn out ally way expecting to be attacked or gang banged by awesomeness only to get… more drawn out additional plot twists and burritos filled with crap. So next week they’re coming out with a NEW SHOCKING SERIES!! Right…

Yow mi tired a the crap now. Marlene King  (the writer) mi baxide tired. A di first me actually show interest in a baxide show (other than UK stuff) only fi yuh baxide lead me on. Pretty Little liars went from “awww teenage memories” to “WTF did I just watch???”

                                                                                                Things me pree so far

  • Obviously them girl here rich and have money a fling weh bout the place. None a dem  no have no alarm system?   a suh them parents busy and make money (that or dem blind) them can’t see when all people a come inna them house?
  • Them change Ally breda so damn often. Him turn from nonexistent, to business suite looking to drunkie wth?? Just pick one already? Oh you thought we’d never notice?


  • Why so much freaking back story weh never mentioned before??? E.G. Ally was with that fly boy and then something totally unrelated happened and oh look fly boy had nothing to do with it… sigh


  • Again negligent parenting. How so much sex scene and shirt removing a gwan inna them likkle girl deh room and nobody no see that?spoby
  • How come Aria deh with her high school teacher and nobody no seem fi see when she a lef him yard 5am in the freaking morning? Further more in recent series how come them a pop big kiss inna rain and the principal or any other teachers for that matter nah see? How come everybody in that town suh rass blind??
  • Look from when them do SAT’s and can’t graduate??? A suh dem dunce?
  • Chick weh dida friend with Ally (can’t remember her name right about now think she name CECE or whatever) weh she come from? How the hell this link to the story?
  • Why them so damn easy fi frame and kidnap? Them gyal yah ever hear bout fling tump an kick?Bawl out RAPE???
  • Weh Melissa dash di belly?
  • Why dem always a feel sorry for Jenna?pretty11
  • The people dem at the mental institution weh Mona deh nuh have guard?
  • Why them always just trust people and barely even know them. E.G. Emily (one of the characters) girlfriend died and some RANDOM black guy (mind you him sexy) comes claiming to be her cousin. Because him black and the girlfriend did black mean she them related?? You have no family picture? You call the girl parents fi confirm? NOPE you go spend a weekend with this person. WOW.
  • Whatever happened to Hanna’s evil step sister?
  • How Toby just drop outta school suh? By the way has anyone ever SEEN his parents?
  • Why Alison duppy stop show and give them tips?


  • How them one can have party suh? Them guh party more than how dem guh school -___-

I could go on and on with my questions but seriously? This show has too many loop holes and unanswered questions. You know I actually came up with  a cure for all the girls problems recently. One more Yes problem solved. All they need is a Jamaican and all their problems solved.

Now I’m not playing on any stereotypes of any kind… yes I am. I’m Jamaican so it’s allowed.

A Jamaican girl in that group would solve all the problems. How you ask? Well first of all she would have a whole heap a dog inna her yard fi bite up “A” rass if him try come inna har yard. If “A” call her pon private number she woulda hang up inna him ears, send a please credit me OR dare A to meet up so she can beat the shit out of him/her/it. And trust me she would win that fight.

She woulda beat Jenna… no not sissy slap her,GAZA BOX OFF DI GYAL YEY DEM OUTTA HAR HEAD and make sure she nuh get up. She would run all of Ezra’s  baby mothers, ex girlfriend everybody. They probably wouldn’t get framed so damn easily. She would probably call muma Liza fi call up Alison fi tell them a who kill her and done. .. but then the show would end. WOOOOT! See  problem solved Hear that Marlene King put a Jamaican girl in there. Fans will love you for putting Pretty Little liars on the path to ending I promise you. So come next week we’ll be led on like a bad relationship. Unno one! mi nah dweet!!

As always I leave you with something, cause I’m such a Lovely caricature in le crotch by Erin Suxx  ( that combination sounded a way… Erin Lux I think is her actual name, young illustrator from the States) on Tumblr check out her work!


Not my work. Property of Erin Lux (see link at the end to see more of her work)

Have a good one



2 thoughts on “You’ll tell us who A is next week? Cool story bro, tell it again.

  1. Look here. I used to see the commercial…me jus kiss mi teet and change di channel XD….That is why I love watching Mythbusters…I am always guaranteed an explosion in EVERY episode… I don’t get left hanging, my brain gets excercise, and they patch up all the loop-holes…at least most of them XD …Pay me no mind yuh hear….

    Also..Hoi! 😀

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