Don’t write when you’re angry, emotional writing may disturb your readers. Are you disturbed Reader? Cause to be really honest, if my realness is disturbing stop reading. PLEASE. I’ll refrain from the cliché “I’m as real as they come” rant. Keep in mind that a robot is not the one updating these posts daily. It’s a real person, with real problems, real experiences , it doe get no more real as this yuh zeet ( < —— Jamaican for :understood?) .
I dislike when people say “I hate liars”. Like they never stopped to include themselves in the WORLD of people who lie, cheat, steal, kill shall I continue? Two phenomenon which human kind fails to understand.
1.We all lie.
2. A lie is no better than any other crime committed. So get over yourself. “Non liars”.
Don’t take this as me justifying lying I’m simply saying that this thing many hate so much, is something we do on a regular ourselves. So when your folks call asking why your friend Kelly’s bedroom sounds like Quad night club after you told them you were going to a sleep over, you say you’re out the door when you just got out of bed OR better yet when your significant other does this to you-
Think long and hard about what you just did. Let’s ask ourselves why people lie in the first place?
To get out of complicated situations? To get away something? To gain things? Because they can? The answer might vary depending on the person and depending on the situation but it doesn’t make it right. Neither is telling “half the truth”.
Telling the truth might be hard but
(No i couldn’t help thinking the cheesey Nike tag line -__-) You got that right! No one wants to be known as the person who hurts another person’s feelings so you’d rather keep your mouth shut and ignore a bad situation; that’s right, watch it get worse. You know it’s better to save people the trouble and tell them truth than have someone else tell them. Picture wearing a shirt that makes you look awful and you ask your best friend “how do I look?” and best friend goes ” O_O… fine”. Further on in the day someone else goes “dude… you look awful”. You just had a hand in your friend looking like crap.
Sure it’s hard telling the truth but its better you do it then let a situation get worse. In relationships, when a partner confesses an action it’s usually said “ where you ever going to tell me or continue lying about it?”. Stop. They told you didn’t they? That should count for something. (Not justifying just saying).
Bringing something uncomfortable and wrong to light can be difficult but it doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be done. Recently and unexpectedly I was told the truth and I would’ve much preferred that person to tell me this to my face and when they started to have the problem rather than in the manner they did. Out of anger. It means that they lied for quite some time to me and others around me before the truth was forced out of them.
The guilt factor afterwards
Feels like shit. You know why? Because you could have changed how a situation unfolded but chose silence as your option. Guilt should hit you before you decide to keep something from someone especially if its something life altering. It could even depend on the decision a person makes.Mind you, the decision to let the truth rip, might vary but if you have a hand in how things might turn out. Do something.
Find ways to tell the truth
Slip a note
It could be a slip of a note explaining things and asking the person to understand where you’re coming from. They’ll either understand or they won’t. Simple.
Being blunt but not being an A$$
The other day someone posted a question on fb about how to tell someone they couldn’t draw. As a young artist and educator I know the most forceful and effective tool in nurturing the love and motivation for visual arts, is constructive criticism. Let me spell that out CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM. Not mash down and destroy because you’re more versed at something and others aren’t. Pointing out the negatives and positives of the work being critiqued. Everyone develops at their own pace, some longer than others. Van Gogh’s process was very different from Da Vinci’s yet they’re two of the world’s greatest artists in their own right.
Some people may take the blunt rawness of being told their work fails and may just make a great come back. But others may be crushed and never venture into a field they showed interest in again. You would’ve been responsible for that. Hope that makes you feel good about yourself deep down in there *sarcasm*
Tell people they need to improve, point out the good that they’ve done so they know where to keep moving forward. Give pointers rather than tearing down. This doesn’t only apply for art too, any other discipline. In fact any other life experience. When I punish or give a failing grade to my students I don’t just do it because I can execute authority. I tell them what they did and why it warranted a detention or a fail. I then tell them how to improve. How else will they know?
Furthermore how many students do you think will continue doing art as a subject if teachers create this elitist frame of thinking? Just like Sciences aren’t for everyone, Art isn’t for everyone, but this doesn’t mean you go making art seem like a totally elitist institution.
Be brutally honest and firm
Don’t force a smile and nod when you mean no. “ I don’t agree with you but I’ll agree to disagree” works. No one can say you weren’t honest and you didn’t stand by what you believe in (if you believe in honesty anyway). It’s better to be hated for telling the truth than being liked as a liar.
This is just my take on this one issue, that will forever plague us as humans. It’s inevitable that we lie BUT knowning you shouldn’t and the damage it can cause is enough to warrant a reason not to. Attmept to be honest , it’s the honorable thing to do.
Thing I’m thankful for today? Humble Honesty. Something people lack now a days. Life goes on peeps.
p.s. Sorry for the late posts! #backontrack